The first time I heard someone say the word to describe themselves as loyal I was in my early 30’s. I like the sound of loyal. When I met m ex husband the description I often heard in reference to him was he was loyal. I could tell he was loyal to his family as they were loyal to him. The issue with the loyal dynamic with him and his family is he always yelled at them, me, and we remained loyal to him. Strange.
We divorced and he moved on and started dating a woman. I am happy for him. They moved in with each other fairly quickly and one week after they moved in together he told me he thought he made a mistake and still loved me. I thought to myself where is his loyalty to her? I ended up telling her. I thought I was doing her a favor because who wants to be with someone who is secretly pining for someone else? Apparently, that phenomena is prevalent in society, but I will write more on that later.
Needless to say m ex husband who always fiercely stated his loyalty to me called me a liar and his girlfriend believed him. I don’t blame her. Who wants to believe the person you love is a liar and potential cheat?
Flash forward to Christmas where my ex husband was begging to come over and have sex with me and informed me he had cheated on his girl friend and she caught him but still wanted to work on their relationship. I did not tell her he was trying to come see me for sex as I already tried to tell her once and both of them called me a liar. I am just wondering if my definition of loyalty differs from another’s definition of loyalty?
I strive to live an honest and loyal existence. This past year I have been disappointed in discovering people who claim to love me have been loyal and dishonest.
It’s not just happening in my life, but in other’s lives around me, which makes me sad.
I was in a relationship with a man for almost two years. A man who told me he was divorced. I recently learned he is not divorced. His wife found an e-mail I sent to him and reached out to me. I felt sick to my stomach. This man who I purely love lied to me from day one. I asked him why he lied and he said it was easier to say he was divorced than to say he was unhappily married. I understand his logic but again I am left wondering how many truly loyal people actually exist in society? I don’t knowingly date married men, but yet I have been for almost two years.
I am a loyal person. I am a forgiving person. People who know me well know this about me. I have met many married men who are unhappily married and I graciously tell them I am not interested. I think life is meant to live without secrets. I believe before one opens a door they should close the other door.
I believe loyalty is an honorable trait, but finding truly honorable people is probably like finding an honest politician…
But I won’t stop looking.