For as long as I can remember I have been sexually harassed. During the election mudslinging as I call it and the revelations of Donald Trump sexually harassing women through the years and all the uproar around the allegations I found myself reflecting on my own experiences with men through the years.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where people harass each other. People harass each other for having different opinions, different skin color, outrageous I know, harassment for who they love and harassment just for gender. It’s sad really…
I won’t go into all the times I have been sexually harassed as there is no point. I will go into a few recent instances that left me feeling sick to my stomach.
I am an attractive woman. I cannot lie and say I am ugly. I happen to have a large busom. It is what it is. I work for a company where we achieved a prestigious award. For achieving this award the company threw a big celebration for everyone in the company at a very nice venue. We were required to dress nice for the occasion and I wore I pretty blue dress with heels. The dress I chose showed some cleavage but nothing outrageous as the venue was professional. I dress classy regardless as I am a 43 year old mom of three.
The event took place on a Monday during working hours so the workday started off as usual and then everyone would eventually proceed to the event. During our Monday morning kickoff everyone talks about their weekend and what they did. One male coworker talked how he took his wife out and how they had a really nice week end together. I listened to him talk and I remarked to myself how nice to have spent a nice weekend with his spouse. I was so very happy for him, for them.
A couple hours later this coworker and I happened to be walking side by side and he put his arm around me as what I thought was a warm gesture as we have worked together for years and he whispered to me, “one day I would really love to grab your breasts.” Wow I thought and shrunk away. I was so bothered and felt so let down as I thought how could he talk about the great time he had with his wife and then disrespect her and me at the same time? I said nothing. That’s what many of us do…
A couple months after this happened I came to work wearing an orange skirt. I love fashion! I love dressing pretty and wearing high heels. I received many nice compliments on my orange skirt and one that just well, again left me feeling sick to my stomach. A different married coworker who I have known for years liked my orange skirt so much he offered me $500 to have sex with him! I told him that would make me a prostitute which I am not. I was so bothered by what he said. This actually happened around the allegations about Donald Trump came out.
I thought long and hard about the remark from my coworker and the next day we happened to be alone in the office I asked him if I could speak to him. I told him how his comment made me feel. I asked him how he would feel if his wife came home and told him someone made that comment to her. He really had no idea how hurtful the comment was or harassing. He believed he was giving me a compliment which I believe he really thought. He felt so awful and thanked me for opening his eyes and he meant it.
Both of those instances I could have gotten those men fired but I happen to be forgiving and recognize when it comes to men and women the thinking and behavior is different and sometimes instead of attacking we must have a conversation.
I am not married and I am often getting approached by married men who see me as this beautiful woman and want to give me pleasure. They do not seem to understand why would I want a married man to give me pleasure? How can I take pleasure in deceit? The thought is the exact opposite of pleasure. I am not on this earth to be a married man’s escape or his fantasy. Yes, it is flattering men find me attractive. No I will not sleep with them or allow them to touch me or pay me for sex because they find me attractive. I just think of their poor wives at home. I would not want my spouse taking me out for dinner and then going to work harassing women…
That’s just my two cents.